Country Cottage Arts

Sunday, 9 April 2010



Mothers' Day comes and goes every year.  Hotels and eateries will be packed to the brim and all manner of presents and treats will be dished out to the fortunate and happy mums who are fortunate enough to have loving kids.    I guess my kids too will do something similar . 


Frankly, however, I've passed that stage of wanting all those flowers and chocolates and cakes and lunches, etc.  That was what I sorely wanted up until when I was forty something.  When I needed acknowledgments, confirmation and tokens from my kids of their love (and perhaps devotion?) for the 'sacrifice' that I, as a mother, was  supposed to have done and still do for my children.

Funnily, I don't need those tokens of affection  any more and if they are too busy with their  young lives and friends, it's okay by me.  I think I've grown out of the 'mother complex' and have become more confident of myself as a mother .  I don't need their affirmations  to know that they love me.  They will always  love me, no matter where they are and  without a doubt, they also know that I'd sacrifice my life them.  All mothers do.  It's the way mothers are, I think  and that is because I'm seeing life through my lens.... ( although  after reading the recent headline news of murdering mothers, I'm not too sure)

I've come to finally realise that  the ' sacrifice' the mother is supposed to do  is actually the  responsibility and obligation on the part of the mother to look after the child.   It is simply the mothers  duty to look after the child and  cater to the child's  basic physical and emotional needs  until the child is old enough to look after him/herself.   There's no sacrifice involved here at all .  If we are intelligent enough to bring a child into this world. we should be equally intelligent enough to look after the child, isn't it?.  As Jackie O quoted " If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much "  We shouldn't have this mentality of ' sacrificing our lives for our children'  idea in our heads. I think it   distorts the special  bond of the mother and child.

And so, it has finally dawned on me that what I've done is just put into practice  my responsibility and obligation ( as any mother would )  to bring up my  children to the best of my ability. There was  no room or space for any 'sacrifice' on my part. The children are gifts of God and I have been  lucky enough to have  known and felt their love and affection for me  all these time.  I still do.  And this is one of the greatest blessings from God that I have received. 

So, if they forgot to buy me chocolates, it's okay;  can't take me out for lunch, it's okay; don't have enough money to buy me flowers, it's okay;  I don't really need their tokens of affection to prove their love for me anymore  but if they do want to give me, I'm not complaining either !

Life is actually simple .  It's only as complicating as how we want it to be......


Happy Mother's Day, everyone


Lakshmi