Sociable

Alls Fair in Love and War

Posted by Lakshmi

The recent decision by the authorities to pay alimony to embattled wives and mothers in the throes of divorce and custody battles is really a godsend.    When relationships turn sour , everyone involved suffers but the worst ones affected are the innocent children who become pawns in the hurtful game of who gets what. It has become an endemic problem  all over the world and sad to say, most of us have become quite blase about it, (sigh)

It starts off with the husband blaming the wife,  then the wife blaming the husband and when they cannot get even with each other, they drag in the children to qualify and quantify their attacks to get the maximum mileage .  And so it goes until it is brought to the attention of the authorities  via the Courts to solve their personal problems.  And let the whole world know of their inability and stupidity in the process - and they call themselves grown-ups!

That's only the tip of the iceberg.  The real heartaches come when mothers are left to fend for their children without any support from the ex-husbands.  More often than not, they would have had resigned from their earlier careers to take care of their homes and kids, thus foregoing their financial independence and when divorce looms in the picture, they are left far behind with little emotional and monetary support.  This is an established general trend all over, not just in our backyard.  Of course, there are the exceptions, where women have been emboldened  enough to fight back and make a difference to their lives but these are far between. 

To my  knowledge,  however limited you think it is,  this happens to  women in all strata of  societies, in all cultures and background, irrespective of  their  religious faith .  So it makes me wonder why  in Malaysia, the country I call home, alimony is to be paid to only Muslim women and not to all women across the board in multi-racial  Malaysia.  Why are the authorities confining and addressing this problem to a particular community and not to all Malaysians who are/would be   equally affected ?.What is their rationale ?  That only our Muslim sisters suffer and the others do not?  That only our Muslim sisters are legitimate  wives and mothers and  others are not?   Are the  non-muslim sisters any less a citizen than them?  I have a  whole lot of other questions to ask but that would only make the authorities look even more stupid than they already are....  Manglish ' stupider' sounds better I think..

It really doesn't and shouldn't matter who is affected.  A decent human mind and by that extension, the authorities concerned should extend  help to all those in need , not practice selective preferential treatment .    Choosing whom you are going to help is not called  help, its called injustice, discrimination, partisanship nepotism, favouritism and a whole host of other unsavoury words.   Its simply unbelievable that the authorities, in one fell swoop, have divided women in Malaysia along religious lines - muslims and non-muslims .  Are we not all God's children.  Imagine the scene - a Chinese, an Indian and a Malay mother applies to the Court for alimony.  The learned judge explains to the mothers that only the Muslim mother's  request can be  fulfilled and the other 2  denied because they are not muslim   What would the Muslim mother say to the non-muslim mother ? .  Would not the Muslim mother feel the pain of the non-muslim mother  too?  Are not all mothers tied to motherhood by the same bond ?. Simply put, would it be  fair?

The way the authorities  make knee jerk policies without an indepth study is truly mind boggling.  It would do well to remember what Old Abe   said - "  it is better to remain  silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt  ".  Obviously, the relevant Ministry officials  have not  passed  their History in school to know  about Abraham Lincoln ,  nor understood it  and have no  inkling of what they have done;  but they have opened their mouth and proved beyond doubt........

Stupid is as stupid does.  And I haven't even written about the other angles involved ...... 

Wither 1 Malaysia?   1 motherhood?

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